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Religion is like having a penis
It's cool, until you whip it out and start shoving it other people's faces.
If having sex for money makes you a whore...
Then does having sex for free make you a non-profit whoreganisation?
What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?
A Flossiraptor (Courtesy of my 6 year old daughter)
Two statues were standing in the park, one, a nude man and one, a nude woman.
They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years.
One day an angel comes down from the sky and with a single gesture, brings the two to life.
The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."
He looks at her. She looks at him. They go running behind the shrubbery.
The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.
The angel looks at his watch. "Um, you have fifteen minutes left… would you care to do it again?"
He asks her, "Shall we?"
She eagerly replies, "Oh! Yes, let's! But we should change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down, and you shit on its head!"
What was the last book you DNF?
Recently I tried reading 'Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone' by Benjamin Stevenson off of StoryGraph's recommendation. It seemed interesting based on the synopsis, and it wasn't a hard read. The pacing was similar to other stories I've enjoyed reading, too.
But man, nothing about the book was interesting to me. None of the characters interested me enough and the plot wasn't all that interesting either. I kept telling myself to try a little bit more. I read about half the book before I decided to call it quits.
What was the last book you decided to call it quits on?
With onions and garlic, balsamic vinegar reduction
Leftover potatoes
With onions and garlic, balsamic vinegar reduction
Leftover potatoes
i woke up
i woke up
While you're in the sheets we're in the streets.
We keep the streets safe so you can rest safely. We run on coffee and "the nip" as they call it.
Technically a Rehearsal. Emotionally a Victory Lap.
We've been practicing for years, and we're finally ready for the 2026 Olympics.